Dear Mind: Please Be Quiet

  I miss sleep. Silent, long, dead-to-the-world kind of sleep that is uninterrupted by trips to the bathroom, odd dreams that I won't even attempt to explain, and eventually lying awake three hours after going to bed wondering why in the world I'm up!
  My mind just won't shut off. This isn't something new mind you, but it seems to be louder and more insistent that I listen to it's constant dwelling on money (or lack of it), "friendships" (and I use that term loosely for the case that torments me most), book ideas, characters talking, making up scenes for Flashpoint... (Sam Braddock, you are literally one of the few things that keeps my odd dreams entertaining.)
  There seems to be no end to my nights of half sleeping. I've tried gravol, it didn't help. I am back to sleeping downstairs in case it was too warm for me to sleep well in my room... Nothing. So, I've come to a conclusion about myself and this situation: I need to get out of my own way.
  This doesn't just apply to sleep mind you. I seem to be in my own way in almost every area of my life: work, social, financial, writing... You name it, I can't seem to move forward in it. I'm stressed and grumpy, mostly with myself, but I tend to take it out on others... which makes me angry with myself and therefore more stressed and grumpy.
  I'm at a loss of what to do. I try to let go, to pray everything back into God's hands, but I tend to take back everything I've ever worried about. Perhaps that is what has been giving me these headaches lately.
  So when I read Psalm 27 today, it seemed appropriate. "My heart says of you, "Seek his face! Your face, Lord, I will seek." (Psalm 27: 8) As always, my eyes and thoughts are on myself and my problems, when they should be on Him. And the Psalm ends with, "Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (v. 14). Looking up instead of in, and waiting... two things that are not my strong suit (and basically scream "get out of your way"), but perhaps if I work on them today, and maybe do a little writing and a little yoga, my mind will shut up long enough for me to sleep tonight. Here's hoping.
<3 Kayla