Finding my Candlelight

  I have an addiction to candles. Wonderful, amazing smelling candles. I fill my rooms with scents like Hot Chocolate, Peppermint Bark, Mint Chocolate and my absolute favourite smell in the world, Vanilla. Just a whiff of these smells on days good or bad can make my heart soar, my body relax, my lips tilt into a smile, and my eyes glimmer with happiness. The one problem I have is that I hate to light them.
  A tad ridiculous I know, but I don't want to waste them. I don't want their amazing smell or how it lifts my mood to disappear as the candle wax burns away. So they stay open in my room, scent swirling with the breeze of air that randomly enters every so often, unlit, but intact.
  Thinking about this the other night though, God showed me something. I am like my candles. Despite days of real effort, and days of slacking and finding as many distractions as I can (which isn't difficult in this amazing weather), I still haven't been able to make myself finish my manuscript for Why Wish?. I doubt that it's good enough, that the plot is strong enough, that it flows well enough, that it's interesting enough... I don't want to waste the time I spent dreaming about these characters, trying to put their stories on paper, so I've hit a wall of indecision and doubt. I remain unlit, just like those pricey Bath and Body Works candles.
  But this isn't what God wants for me. I grew up singing "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine". Somewhere along the line, I decided I didn't want to waste that light, didn't want to lose it. All of this is why I'm struggling so much with this rewrite. But what I've realized is that an unlit candle isn't doing it's job, isn't living it's purpose. Sure it can send out its fragrance, offer some comfort without a flickering flame, but how much more powerful would that scent be if the wick was holding that flame?
  I need to search for that flame of passion and desire that doubt and fear has extinguished from my writing. Because I'm a writer, and a writer not writing isn't doing their job, isn't living their purpose, just like that unlit candle. I haven't been shining the light that God has intended me to shine, and it's made me feel despondent, unimportant, un-useful. My own fault. So today, I'm off to search for something to ignite that flame again. It's a beautiful day for searching; a day for renewals, inspiration, purpose. And when the sun goes down today, I think those candles are going to find the joy they can give while holding onto that precious fire. Hopefully it will reflect my own fire so that maybe, one day, Lord willing, you all will be able to experience the more powerful scent and comfort of a full book of my writing.
  Whatever you're searching for today, I pray you find it. Joy, inspiration, love, comfort; it's not always easy to find what you're looking for, and it doesn't always feel fair that you have to be the one searching it out, but the best things in life are never the easiest things. Loving on you all today, and praying too.
<3 Kayla