F.I.N.E.

  Let's be honest. Men do not really understand women. Heck, we don't really even understand ourselves. With women, one word and how it's said can mean something completely different each time we say it.
  Take the word "fine" for example. Sometimes, when asked how we are, we say, "Fine." But it's how we say it that matters. If it's an in passing, or happy "fine", then it means exactly what it's supposed to. Please (for all you guys out there) do not assume that fine automatically means that we're upset or don't want to talk. And, if you value peace and sanity in your relationships with women, DO NOT attempt to tell them how they feel because of such a one word answer. That only makes us mad.
  On the other hand, when said with an exasperated sigh, or with our head in our hands as we try to squeeze all of the issues we'd rather not think about out of our mind, fine becomes an acronym for how we feel. Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. (No, I haven't been watching too much of the Italian Job... I just like this quote. The fact that Marky-Mark said it means nothing to me.) This kind of fine is difficult to know how to deal with. Sometimes we really just want to be left alone, so just responding with an, "Okay. If you need to talk, let me know," is best. It shows you care, but it also gives us the option of sharing or not sharing our issues. And sometimes, you need to push until all of the problems come spilling out of us. Knowing when to push and when not to will be a lesson learned only with time, and will be different for every woman you know.
  I've been living in the land of F.I.N.E. lately. I won't delve into a whiny diatribe of why, but needless to say it's not the best place to be. So lying in bed this morning, having a conversation in my head with someone who shall remain nameless, advice came to me. Where is my faith? And with this advice came a new acronym for fine: Faith Is Never Ending.
  Looking at the list of qualities in the first acronym I started wondering, why am I freaking out? I know God is in control, so what good does freaking out do? Why am I insecure? The other day when airing some of my insecurities to my Aunt Lena, she stopped me with this question: "What do you think God made a mistake and could have made you better?" Even while my head started listing all of the things I see wrong with myself, my heart heard the truth there and echoed a resounding "NO!" My God doesn't make mistakes; He makes everyone in his image, just as they're supposed to be. So why do I try to conform and change who I really am? I think that's where insecurities start... in the comparing and conforming. Why am I so neurotic and emotional? Yes, sometimes it has to do with hormones, or extenuating circumstances, but there are times where I let myself dwell and get angry over things that I really don't need to. I can choose to stop myself, but I don't, because dwelling and anger come naturally, easily to me. But I don't have to let those things control me.
  Changing from a Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional mess isn't going to be easy. Nor is it likely ever going to happen completely. I'm human, and a women... can't change either of those simple facts. But I can try to remember more that Faith Is Never Ending, most especially in a God whose love is never ending.
  Which F.I.N.E. are you today? I'd love to hear about it.
<3 Kayla