I'm sure most of you read the title and are hoping for some juicy gossip or tidbits or something. But this isn't just any love affair I'm talking about. It's about my love affair with winter, and by extension, my love affair with God. I know. Not what you were expecting.
I'm one of those people. One of those people who LOVES winter. Cold, snow, twinkling lights, fireplaces aglow, hot chocolate steam rising from a big mug while I'm tucked under a cozy blanket with a good book. Mmmmm. That is home and joy and peace and love to me. And it's not just because of Christmas. Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas too. Mom always used to come alive at Christmas. I can remember her just sitting in the mornings with not a light on but the Christmas tree lights. Something I now love to do. And I love giving gifts, singing carols, Christmas Eve service at church, celebrating how Jesus was Love Come Down.
But it's not just Christmas. I actually love winter. And that love extends past December 25th. Or even January 1st. I'm sure some of you out there are reading this think that I've (in the words of Beth Moore) lost my ever loving mind. Perhaps I have. But I've always loved to be different. I'm just now trying to figure out why I'm different in this way though. I'm sure I'll never fully know, and I'm okay with that. I enjoy being a mystery even unto myself. I have however, come up with a few explanations to this love of mine.
Snow. When I see fresh snow out the window, my heart just dips and soars and fills. (Maybe it's partly because it was snowing when the Beast gave Belle her library...) Everything looks clean and crisp and pure and perfect. It looks lovely and romantic. It looks how I want to look. And it looks like how God sees me. When I accepted His Son as my Saviour, I became cleansed of my sins, snow white, Jesus covered. Now I am by no means perfect. I am a continual, never ending this-side-of-heaven work in progress. If I were that picturesque scene I see out that window, there would be slush, and dirt showing through; footprints all over the place; and there's a good chance there would be some yellow snow. I make mistakes, take the wrong path, make a giant mess of situations and relationships and life. But all I have to do is bring that back to God and a new snow falls. It all gets covered in wonderful perfection again. Not my perfection. His. Not earning my forgiveness, but Him letting it fall freely and graciously.
In the Breaking Free video we watched tonight, Beth talks about God's love for us, believing it and feeling it for ourselves. At the end of our time together, we prayed God would love on us. And when I walked out that door tonight, big beautiful fluffy flakes teased my cheeks and eyelashes and hair. And I couldn't help but smile, a heart smile. God was using the snow to love on me. Woo me. Flirt with me, even! It might seem crazy, but in that moment, I know that those snowflakes were just for me. A gift from Him to light my heart, and tell me one more time that He loves me. I couldn't help but whisper back, "I love you too."
This is the season that most has me searching inside myself. I reflect more. I read more. I search inside myself for warmth and sustenance. And more often than not, I find Jesus. Without all of the rest of the distractions, I find what I need.
So I am going to sip my hopefully still warm Nutella Hot Chocolate, curl up with Toffee and my fluffy blanket, put on some Lady A Christmas music, and hopefully watch some more snow fly out my window. Let God love on me a little more. <3
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