Friendships and Love Affairs

  I am a firm believer that the best romantic relationships start as friendships.  With a friendship, you take the time to get to know the person better with no strings attached; you learn to trust that person slowly with little things first, then bigger problems; you joke and laugh when you're happy, and cry when you're sad (at least if you're open enough to cry in front of people).  With friends, you don't care as much to hide who you really are from them.  I think with dating (not that I would know first hand, but I've seen it in other people's relationships) it takes longer to get to that point of comfort because you are constantly trying to impress your boy/girlfriend, keep their interest, make them happy, which can mean hiding some serious stuff in your life because you don't want to 'burden' them.
  Would it be hard to transition from friendship to relationship?  Probably.  There's always that fear of ruining the friendship if dating doesn't work out.  Even with that though, I think I'd rather have the closeness of a friendship with a guy become more, rather than censoring myself in the beginning because I'm worried about what a guy might think of me, if he might dump me because I'm not perfect.  (Because trust me, I'm anything but.)
  Ironically, I've found myself today realizing that this is the path I've been on with my relationship with God.  I picked up my devotional this morning and read that I am God's friend.  Now this is something that I don't generally have a problem understanding.  Jesus actually tells us in John that we are his friends, that there is no greater gift than for a man to lay down his life for a friend, which is exactly what Jesus did on the cross.  Doing the questions, I looked back and realized that God has always been there for me.  He carried me through some of the most difficult times in my life, and when I could walk on my own he stayed beside me, even through sometimes long stretches of my ignoring his presence.  He has proven himself eternally trustworthy, blessing me again and again with things that I'm sometimes too afraid to ask for.  He listens to me, knows me, loves me and supports me.  The ultimate friend.  My heart was grateful for that realization.
  Then I popped over to Journal Jots (because yay it's Friday and it's new!) and read the words Love Affair.  I've heard Julie use them before to describe a relationship with God.  Now this is something difficult for me to grasp.  A love affair with the Almighty God?  Seems out of reach, far off, impossible, even crazy!  But reading what Julie had to say, I got to the end and tears of wanting rolled down my cheeks.  I've been so caught up in wanting a human love affair, someone to talk to, touch, hold, love, that I've been ignoring a great friend who wants to be so much more!  God.
  My heart still hurts a bit at that realization, but I know it's something that I needed to hear going into a new year and hopefully a brand new chapter in my life and my relationship with Him.  Love affair.  That's what I want, what I long for with all my heart and soul.  Is it scary, moving from friendship to love affair, even with the Lover of my Soul?  A little.  But I can tell already, it's going to be so worth it.  That doesn't mean that I'm going to be a nun (even though I have considered), or that if he sends the right guy my way I'll reject him.  It just means that from now on I'm going to do my best to keep God and my love and desire for him first in my heart.
  This is definitely something my poor, depressed single heart needed to hear after a night of reading and trying not to eat a whole box of chocolates by myself, horribly brought down by a lack of pursuit from... well anyone.  Or almost anyone.  God seems to be pretty active in the chase to get my attention.  Feel free to hop over to Julie's Journal Jots (link on the side).  She really touched a chord in my heart today, and I love her for it.  Hope I've done the same for you in the past few months with my blogs.  If not, I'll try to do better this new year.  Still, thanks for showing up for the journey, caring about my friendship, my love affair with writing, and hopefully now with God.  Love and prayers my dears.
<3 Kayla