Known

  Have you ever noticed that sometimes the things we want in life are the things we're most afraid of?  We want to be loved, but we're afraid of getting our hearts broken.  We want to be known, but we're afraid of rejection.  I mean, how many people know the real you?  Your real thoughts, uncensored?  Or do they know the person you pretend to be, because that person is more likely to be accepted?
  We put on a smile, tell everyone we're fine, even when we're not.  We protect our thoughts and feelings behind invisible walls, because if we didn't, if we let people in, we're afraid they wouldn't like us anymore... and that's too much of a risk to take... or is it?
  I'm almost to the chapter where Cass comes face to face with her own fear of being known, where in her anger she actually reveals her biggest secret.  What brings this on?  She realizes that no matter what there will always be someone who knows her completely, whether she wants them to or not: God.  He made us, he knew us before we were even born, he knows our thoughts, the deep inner workings and wants of our hearts and souls.  That's scary too isn't it?  But it doesn't need to be, because for some reason that I don't always quite understand, even though God knows us completely, he loves us completely.  He looks past all of our screw ups and imperfections, the things that we dwell on and want to change, and he sees our grace covered potential.
  Ironically, the movie I turned on this morning while I ate my Kayla-sized bowl of Lucky Charms was all about being afraid of being known.  Don't make fun, I grew up watching movies like A Cinderella Story, and there are life lessons there if you look for them.  (Plus, Chad Micheal Murray is kind of gorgeous...)  After finally being revealed as being the Cinderella from the Homecoming Dance (in a rather embarrassing and hurtful way thanks to her evil step-sisters), Sam finally takes a stand for herself.  She marches right into the boys locker room before the big football game and says, "I never pretended to be somebody else. It's been me all along... I came to tell you that I know what it feels like to be afraid to show who you are. I was, but I'm not anymore. And the thing is, I really don't care what people think about me... because I believe in myself. And I know that things are gonna be okay. But even though I have no family, and no job, and no money for college... it's you that I feel sorry for."  (I love this scene too Madison :D)
  This is what I want for all of us today, this week, in the months and years of your life to come.  I want us to be ourselves!  To break down that wall, brick by brick and let people in.  It doesn't have to be all at once, just one person at a time.  Know that no matter what, I accept you and love you, just for being you, and that no matter what you tell me about yourself or your past, that won't change.  Believe in yourself, because even if you don't necessarily believe in Him, God believes in you, knows you, loves you.  I'm finding comfort in that.  Hopefully you do too.
<3 Kayla